I´m tired of being like a bird in the cage.
I want to learn to fly now.
I´m ready !!!!!
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Song of today U2 - one
Mary J Blige ft. U2 - One
Is it getting better
Or do you feel the same
Will it make it easier on you now
You got someone to blame
You say...
One love
One life
When it's one need
In the night
One love
We get to share it
Leaves you baby if you
Don't care for it
Did I disappoint you
Or leave a bad taste in your mouth
You act like you never had love
And you want me to go without
Well it's...
Too late
Tonight
To drag the past out into the light
We're one, but we're not the same
We get to
Carry each other
Carry each other
One...
Have you come here for forgiveness
Have you come to raise the dead
Have you come here to play Jesus
To the lepers in your head
Did I ask too much
More than a lot
You gave me nothing
Now it's all I got
We're one
But we're not the same
Well we
Hurt each other
Then we do it again
You say
Love is a temple
Love a higher law
Love is a temple
Love the higher law
You ask me to enter
But then you make me crawl
And I can't be holding on
To what you got
When all you got is hurt
One love
One blood
One life
You got to do what you should
One life
With each other
Sisters
Brothers
One life
But we're not the same
We get to
Carry each other
Carry each other
One...life
One
Monday, March 30, 2009
Island in the stream
Baby, when I met you there was peace unknown
I set out to get you with a fine tooth comb
I was soft inside, there was somethin going on
You do something to me that I cant explain
Hold me closer and I feel no pain
Every beat of my heart
We got somethin goin on
Tender love is blind
It requires a dedication
All this love we feel
Needs no conversation
We ride it together, ah-ah
Makin love with each other, ah-ah
Islands in the stream
That is what we are
No one in-between
How can we be wrong
Sail away with me to another world
And we rely on each other, ah-ah
From one lover to another, ah-ah
I cant live without you if the love was gone
Everything is nothin if you got no one
And you did walk in tonight
Slowly loosen sight of the real thing
But that wont happen to us and we got no doubt
Too deep in love and we got no way out
And the message is clear
This could be the year for the real thing
No more will you cry
Baby, I will hurt you never
We start and end as one, in love forever
We can ride it together, ah-ah
Makin love with each other, ah-ah
Sail away
Oh, come sail away with me
Who am I?
Who am I ?
I am who I am.
And we all have the light within to share with each ohter.
So let the light come in from both inside (inside and outside).
Let it flow.
Let others light come into you, and also share your light, letting other people share your light.
We are all ONE and connected.
I have been spending a lot of time in silence lately in the hospital.I have had time to figure out what I want in life.
What is my life mission ?
I have thought that it all starts with me.
I am all my feelings, sad, happy, angry, humble, lost, at the right place and so on.
All I can do is my best according to my knowledge and sometimes I get lost and need a compass and a tiny light to see where I put my feet.
Also I need my friends showing me a peace of the puzzle so we all can see clearer what we need to do.
Or is it so that I am at the right place all the time?
Maybe I needed to go thrue all theese experiences to become who I am today ??
Many questions I have.
Love Jessica
I am who I am.
And we all have the light within to share with each ohter.
So let the light come in from both inside (inside and outside).
Let it flow.
Let others light come into you, and also share your light, letting other people share your light.
We are all ONE and connected.
I have been spending a lot of time in silence lately in the hospital.I have had time to figure out what I want in life.
What is my life mission ?
I have thought that it all starts with me.
I am all my feelings, sad, happy, angry, humble, lost, at the right place and so on.
All I can do is my best according to my knowledge and sometimes I get lost and need a compass and a tiny light to see where I put my feet.
Also I need my friends showing me a peace of the puzzle so we all can see clearer what we need to do.
Or is it so that I am at the right place all the time?
Maybe I needed to go thrue all theese experiences to become who I am today ??
Many questions I have.
Love Jessica
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Saturday, March 28, 2009
A prophecy and some wisdom
Help me always to speak the truth quietly,to listen with an open mind when others speak,and to remember the peace that may be found in silence.
~Cherokee Prayer~
As a child I was taught the Taku Wakan (Supernatural Powers) were powerful and could do strange things.
This was taught me by the wise men and the shamans.
They taught me that I could gain their favor by being kind to my people and brave before my enemies; by telling the truth and living straight; by fighting for my people and their hunting grounds.
~Red Cloud~
I had a vision last night about a Condor... El condor pasa, the voice told me.
And today I find this:
We are all witnessing many events which have been prophesied and are coming to fruition in our time. There is one ancient Inca prophecy which proclaims: "When the Eagle of the North flies with the Condor of the South, The Spirit of the Land, She will Reawaken" .
~Cherokee Prayer~
As a child I was taught the Taku Wakan (Supernatural Powers) were powerful and could do strange things.
This was taught me by the wise men and the shamans.
They taught me that I could gain their favor by being kind to my people and brave before my enemies; by telling the truth and living straight; by fighting for my people and their hunting grounds.
~Red Cloud~
I had a vision last night about a Condor... El condor pasa, the voice told me.
And today I find this:
We are all witnessing many events which have been prophesied and are coming to fruition in our time. There is one ancient Inca prophecy which proclaims: "When the Eagle of the North flies with the Condor of the South, The Spirit of the Land, She will Reawaken" .
Small miracles of daily life
The small miracels of daily life.
Even though I have been sad that I came to the hospital and missed Paulos party in Paris, I can find a meaning of me being here.
I have come close to many of the other patients here and I have comforted them when they where sad.
And one of them comforted me also when I became sad.So I think I bring small miracles to thoose people that has lost their confident in life.
Make them see it is a light in the dark tunnel, we just have to focus and have faith, that we become stronger thrue hard times.
And we can make another human smile or just listen to what they want to tell me and give them a hug.
So even though I don´t wan´t to be here, I understand why I´m here.
To bring hope and small miracles to other people.
But then again sometimes I also need a hug and a rock to lean on.
Who can be there for me, with my visions and every thing.I don´t know yet, I will just have faith that this person or persons will come around soon.
I wish for a miracle for myself also, so I can continue give to others.
We need each other ... the circle of friends !!!
Love Jessica
Even though I have been sad that I came to the hospital and missed Paulos party in Paris, I can find a meaning of me being here.
I have come close to many of the other patients here and I have comforted them when they where sad.
And one of them comforted me also when I became sad.So I think I bring small miracles to thoose people that has lost their confident in life.
Make them see it is a light in the dark tunnel, we just have to focus and have faith, that we become stronger thrue hard times.
And we can make another human smile or just listen to what they want to tell me and give them a hug.
So even though I don´t wan´t to be here, I understand why I´m here.
To bring hope and small miracles to other people.
But then again sometimes I also need a hug and a rock to lean on.
Who can be there for me, with my visions and every thing.I don´t know yet, I will just have faith that this person or persons will come around soon.
I wish for a miracle for myself also, so I can continue give to others.
We need each other ... the circle of friends !!!
Love Jessica
Friday, March 27, 2009
New episode of life
I´m so tired of being here at the hospital :-(
Now I wan´t to go home, they don´t let me.
I´m not a baby...
I´m a grownup that became scared and paniced that´s all.
In the confusion I told them about my visions, so now they think I had a psychosis.
I think I don´t, I believe in my visions.
I have had them all my life and they have saved my life many times.
They think I should be more stable first, before I can go home.
I think I am stable.
Now I´m depressed that everything just dissapears infront of my eyes.
I feel tired, hopeless and depressed.
As soon as I began to show the inner me, this happens, thats why I never showed the real me to other people before.
I want out of this place and begin my new life, start over from scratch.
A clean paper to start a new episode of my life.
Now I wan´t to go home, they don´t let me.
I´m not a baby...
I´m a grownup that became scared and paniced that´s all.
In the confusion I told them about my visions, so now they think I had a psychosis.
I think I don´t, I believe in my visions.
I have had them all my life and they have saved my life many times.
They think I should be more stable first, before I can go home.
I think I am stable.
Now I´m depressed that everything just dissapears infront of my eyes.
I feel tired, hopeless and depressed.
As soon as I began to show the inner me, this happens, thats why I never showed the real me to other people before.
I want out of this place and begin my new life, start over from scratch.
A clean paper to start a new episode of my life.
How can it be ??
How can it be that I feel so alone, when I have a lot of loving people around me.
They love me and I love them.
But still I´m so alone with my spiritual side, the visions I have had made me wonder if I am insane???
But then the source answer me, you are sane, but many people are not ready for this yet.
When I have let my light shine through me, people are shocked and don´t believe it.
I wish I had someone to share my visions with, a person who can understand the real me without questioning me, if I am sane or not.
Someone who understand me without questioning me.
I wish for a miracle to happen so I can find that person or persons.
Love,light and courage Jessica
Daughtry - Home
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3AliYh7oWIU
They love me and I love them.
But still I´m so alone with my spiritual side, the visions I have had made me wonder if I am insane???
But then the source answer me, you are sane, but many people are not ready for this yet.
When I have let my light shine through me, people are shocked and don´t believe it.
I wish I had someone to share my visions with, a person who can understand the real me without questioning me, if I am sane or not.
Someone who understand me without questioning me.
I wish for a miracle to happen so I can find that person or persons.
Love,light and courage Jessica
Daughtry - Home
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3AliYh7oWIU
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Everyday miracle
I have had more visions but I don´t know who I can share them with??
So I have thought that my visions have been a punishment to have, but sometimes they are joy also.
So I have to accept the visions, but if they are about big political things, who can I share them with, without being seen as a UFO??
I don´t know right now.The only thing I know is that I need calm and rest rigt now, so I can close down when I don´t want to see anymore.
Today I had a walk outside the hospital and it was a real sunny day and I enjoyed it sooo much.Seing the beauty of this world, and not think of all pain right now I can´t bear it right now.
I need to just take care about myself first, and finding beauty and serenity in every day miracle.
I was comforting two of the patients at the hospitsal this week, because they were sad about how the hospital staff treated them.
So maybe I where their guardian angels in thoose situations??
I even gave away my comforting angel to one of them so she could have strenght to go home and face the crazy world out there.
Love Jessica
Who am I ?
Who am I, I am who I am.
I have promised myself to express the real me in every situation.
But it has only made me come into trouble so far :-(
No one else around me understand me and they think that I´m nuts.
And I know that I´m not crazy, but other people judge me and put a label on me.
It is easy to do when you don´t understand what I´m saying.
It´s to frightening and it comes to close to their own heart.
So I feel that I have to lie to get out of this place even though they wan´t my best they don´t understand me.
And the people around me wan´t me to stop writing and talk about spirituality.
But I will never quit, I have to write about what I feel otherwise I´m going crazy.
But I feel so alone in this, who can I trust?
And I know that I need support, but in a calm way, I need time to melt everything also.
Sometimes my vision goes so fast that I don´t know what is real and what is my fears?
Who can help me to sort this out I have been asking myself lately??
I have promised myself to express the real me in every situation.
But it has only made me come into trouble so far :-(
No one else around me understand me and they think that I´m nuts.
And I know that I´m not crazy, but other people judge me and put a label on me.
It is easy to do when you don´t understand what I´m saying.
It´s to frightening and it comes to close to their own heart.
So I feel that I have to lie to get out of this place even though they wan´t my best they don´t understand me.
And the people around me wan´t me to stop writing and talk about spirituality.
But I will never quit, I have to write about what I feel otherwise I´m going crazy.
But I feel so alone in this, who can I trust?
And I know that I need support, but in a calm way, I need time to melt everything also.
Sometimes my vision goes so fast that I don´t know what is real and what is my fears?
Who can help me to sort this out I have been asking myself lately??
Reflection on love
The three forms of love: Eros, Philos, Agape
Published
by
Paulo Coelho
on March 25, 2009
In 1986, when I was on the road to Santiago with my guide Petrus, we passed through the city of Logroño while a wedding was taking place. We ordered two glasses of wine, I prepared something to nibble on, and Petrus discovered a table where we could sit down together with the other guests.
The wedding couple cut an immense cake.
“They must love one another,” I thought aloud.
“Of course they love one another,” said a man in a dark suit sitting at our table. Have you ever seen anyone get married for any another reason?”
But Petrus did not let the question go unanswered:
“What type of love do you mean: Eros, Philos or Agape?”
The man looked at him without understanding a word.
“There are three words in Greek to designate love,” Petrus said. “Today you are seeing the manifestation of Eros, that sentiment between two persons.”
The bride and groom smiled for the cameras and received compliments from the guests.
“The two seem to love one another. In a short time they will be fighting alone for life, establishing themselves in a house and taking part in the same adventure: that’s what makes love grand and dignified. He will pursue his career, she probably knows how to cook and will make an excellent housewife because since she was a little girl she was brought up to do that.
She will accompany him, they will have children and they will manage to build something together, they will be happy for ever.”
“Al of a sudden, however, this story could happen the other way around. He is going to feel that he is not free enough to show all the Eros, all the love that he has for other women.
She may begin to feel that she has sacrificed a career and a brilliant life to accompany her husband. So, instead of creating together, each of them will feel robbed in their way of loving. Eros, the spirit that joins them, will start to display only his bad side.
And what God had meant to be man’s most noble sentiment will begin to be a source of hatred and destruction.”
I looked around me. Eros was present in many couples.
But I could sense the presence of Eros the Good and Eros the Evil, just like Petrus had described.
“Notice how odd it is,” continued my guide.
“Despite being good or bad, the face of Eros is never the same in all persons.”
My comment:
And also when we don´t who we are (when we are younger often).
By growing older and wiser (I hope) we have discovered who we are deep inside, then we know ourself and then we know how to attract the right person in to our life.
The law of attraction, what we send out is what we get.
So it all starts with loving ourself, which I haven´t done.But I learn slowly step by step, by peeling the onion.
Love Jessica
Published
by
Paulo Coelho
on March 25, 2009
In 1986, when I was on the road to Santiago with my guide Petrus, we passed through the city of Logroño while a wedding was taking place. We ordered two glasses of wine, I prepared something to nibble on, and Petrus discovered a table where we could sit down together with the other guests.
The wedding couple cut an immense cake.
“They must love one another,” I thought aloud.
“Of course they love one another,” said a man in a dark suit sitting at our table. Have you ever seen anyone get married for any another reason?”
But Petrus did not let the question go unanswered:
“What type of love do you mean: Eros, Philos or Agape?”
The man looked at him without understanding a word.
“There are three words in Greek to designate love,” Petrus said. “Today you are seeing the manifestation of Eros, that sentiment between two persons.”
The bride and groom smiled for the cameras and received compliments from the guests.
“The two seem to love one another. In a short time they will be fighting alone for life, establishing themselves in a house and taking part in the same adventure: that’s what makes love grand and dignified. He will pursue his career, she probably knows how to cook and will make an excellent housewife because since she was a little girl she was brought up to do that.
She will accompany him, they will have children and they will manage to build something together, they will be happy for ever.”
“Al of a sudden, however, this story could happen the other way around. He is going to feel that he is not free enough to show all the Eros, all the love that he has for other women.
She may begin to feel that she has sacrificed a career and a brilliant life to accompany her husband. So, instead of creating together, each of them will feel robbed in their way of loving. Eros, the spirit that joins them, will start to display only his bad side.
And what God had meant to be man’s most noble sentiment will begin to be a source of hatred and destruction.”
I looked around me. Eros was present in many couples.
But I could sense the presence of Eros the Good and Eros the Evil, just like Petrus had described.
“Notice how odd it is,” continued my guide.
“Despite being good or bad, the face of Eros is never the same in all persons.”
My comment:
And also when we don´t who we are (when we are younger often).
By growing older and wiser (I hope) we have discovered who we are deep inside, then we know ourself and then we know how to attract the right person in to our life.
The law of attraction, what we send out is what we get.
So it all starts with loving ourself, which I haven´t done.But I learn slowly step by step, by peeling the onion.
Love Jessica
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
The circle of friends
Now I have been in the hospital for over a weak.
Because I had a collaps for many reasons, but mostly because I can´t get the two worlds to come together.
I can´t speak about my visions with many people and that makes me feel alone in some way.
I have asked myself if I have become crazy, but my inner self say:
The other world is as real as the physical world.
And trust your feelings and visions.
But who can I talk to when theese visions hunt my mind and I can´t close down?
Today was the first day, I just told myself that I don´t want to listen to the visions for a while.
My body needs rest and complentation.
So I had a walk outside the hospital today and tomorrow I´m going to swim.
The nurses at the hospital have been so kind to me, and they wan´t my best even though they don´t understand my visions.
So I will not talk with anyone about my visions anymore, because they just bringing trouble around and that I don´t want.
I want to live a life in serenity and peace,laughter and enjoy myself.
And today one person made me laugh so much which I haven´t done for a while now :-)
So I want to thank her.
Maybe one day I will write a book about theese things when I´m back in balance again.
But who can help me get in balance I have thought, and then I had the answer, it´s me.
But I also have to say yes to help coming from outside because I´m only ONE peace of the puzzle.
Together we can create miracles, the circle of friends :-)
Love Jessica
Because I had a collaps for many reasons, but mostly because I can´t get the two worlds to come together.
I can´t speak about my visions with many people and that makes me feel alone in some way.
I have asked myself if I have become crazy, but my inner self say:
The other world is as real as the physical world.
And trust your feelings and visions.
But who can I talk to when theese visions hunt my mind and I can´t close down?
Today was the first day, I just told myself that I don´t want to listen to the visions for a while.
My body needs rest and complentation.
So I had a walk outside the hospital today and tomorrow I´m going to swim.
The nurses at the hospital have been so kind to me, and they wan´t my best even though they don´t understand my visions.
So I will not talk with anyone about my visions anymore, because they just bringing trouble around and that I don´t want.
I want to live a life in serenity and peace,laughter and enjoy myself.
And today one person made me laugh so much which I haven´t done for a while now :-)
So I want to thank her.
Maybe one day I will write a book about theese things when I´m back in balance again.
But who can help me get in balance I have thought, and then I had the answer, it´s me.
But I also have to say yes to help coming from outside because I´m only ONE peace of the puzzle.
Together we can create miracles, the circle of friends :-)
Love Jessica
When the children cry
We need to change, live in symios with nature not conquer it.
I´m going to do the best I can, and learn by my mistakes in the past.
Love Jessica
Monday, March 23, 2009
Don´t worry be happy
I think my fears might have been out of proportion recently.
But that maybe depends because I have been through so much in my life so I often think of the worst case scenario.
And I have also have troubles in my daily life and I need change.
But I have felt so weak so my life turned into a moment 22.
And I have finally realized that I need help.
I hope I will get this at the hospital I´m at.
This time I really need help, I can not sort it out by myself.
I heard this song on the radio and it made me feel that there is a light in the end of the tunnel.
And I have found some really wonderful persons here that has gone through very much and they have made me see things from another angle.
And I hope I soon get strong enough to live in the "normal" world again.
Love Jessica
Sunday, March 22, 2009
I´m your angel
"I'm Your Angel"
No Mountains too high, for you to climb
All you have to do is have some climbing faith, oh yeah
No rivers too wide, for you to make it across
All you have to do is believe it when you pray
And then you will see, the morning will come
And everyday will be bright as the sun
All of your fears cast them on me
I just want you to see...
I'll be your cloud up in the sky
I'll be your shoulder when you cry
I'll hear your voices when you call me
I am your angel
And when all hope is gone, I'm here
No matter how far you are, I'm near
It makes no difference who you are
I am your angel
I'm your angel
I saw the teardrops, and I heard you cry
All you need is time, seek me and you shall find
You have everything and you're still lonely
It doesn't have to be this way, let me show you a better day
And then you will see, the morning will come
And all of your days will be bright as the sun
So all of your fears, just cast them on me
How can I make you see...
I'll be your cloud up in the sky
I'll be your shoulder when you cry
I'll hear your voices when you call me
I am your angel
And when all hope is gone, I'm here
No matter how far you are, I'm near
It makes no difference who you are
I am your angel
I'm your angel
And when it's time to face the storm
I'll be right by your side
Grace will keep up safe and warm
And I know we will survive
And when it seems as if your end is drawing near
Don't you dare give up the fight
Just put your trust beyond the sky...
I'll be your cloud up in the sky
I'll be your shoulder when you cry
I'll hear your voices when you call me
I am your angel
And when all hope is gone, I'm here
No matter how far you are, I'm near
It makes no difference who you are
I am your angel
I'm your angel
I'll be your cloud up in the sky
I'll be your shoulder when you cry
I'll hear your voices when you call me
I am your angel
And when all hope is gone, I'm here
No matter how far you are, I'm near
It makes no difference who you are
I am your angel
I'm your angel
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Hold on be strong
Love can be hard sometimes
Yes it can catch you off guard like bad crimes
Yes it can make you depressed and angry
Make you say why me why won't anybody try me
You might be saying ooh, I don't wanna be lonely
Ooh, I don't wanna be by myself
Ooh, don't wanna be lonely
Why ain't anybody lovin? me
But there's always someone out there who'll be there for you
There is always someone out there who'll care for you
There's always someone out there who'll be true, true, true
Hold on, hold on, be strong
Love can go away forever if you push it
And you have to remember don't rush it
If it ain't right it is wrong
And you'll be crying why me, why won' anybody try me
You might be saying ooh, I don't wanna be lonely
Ooh, I don't wanna be by myself
Ooh, don't wanna be lonely -no, no
Why ain't anybody lovin' me
But there's always someone out there who'll be there for you
There is always someone out there who'll care for you
There's always someone out there who'll be true, true, true
Hold on, hold on, be strong
Yes, there's aways someone out there who'll be there for you,
There is always someone out there who'll care for you
There's always someone out there who'll be true, true, true,
Hold on, hold on, be strong,
Hold on, hold on, be strong
My child hold on, hold on be strong
Friday, March 20, 2009
Hope you all miracles in your life
I´m not going to write here anymore not for a long time anyway.
I have become ill for different reasons and I´m in the hospital.
But I wish you all miracles in your life.
I don´t have strenght right now to do anything.
I have been threated for fun or for real, and I can´t take it anymore,
and I have people that love me but they don´t understand me.
They think I have gone mad… and maybe I have ???
The doctors don´t even think I was going to Paris.
And thoose who understand me is out of reach.
Best of luck to all of you!!!
Roxette- Fading like a rose
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=47vxLNrFRb8
Anastacia - Left outside alone
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2NOugW7o9tU
If I where a boy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FzQQ3Z_CNvc
Love and light
Jessica
I have become ill for different reasons and I´m in the hospital.
But I wish you all miracles in your life.
I don´t have strenght right now to do anything.
I have been threated for fun or for real, and I can´t take it anymore,
and I have people that love me but they don´t understand me.
They think I have gone mad… and maybe I have ???
The doctors don´t even think I was going to Paris.
And thoose who understand me is out of reach.
Best of luck to all of you!!!
Roxette- Fading like a rose
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=47vxLNrFRb8
Anastacia - Left outside alone
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2NOugW7o9tU
If I where a boy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FzQQ3Z_CNvc
Love and light
Jessica
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
LOVE
When everything comes to a matter of life or death.
What is it the one thing that matters?
For me that is LOVE!!!!!
Love to my neigbour, to women and to men, and to my children and everyone around me.
Even though I´m scared I can´t give up loosing myself because I´m scared.
And I will ask for forgiveness for all the things I have done wrong in my life, and learn from theese lessons.
I´m everything not bad or good, happy or sad.
I do my best, I can´t do anything else.
I will never give up on LOVE.
Don´t try to scare me into obeying, what goes arund comes around just so you know.
You should also learn the lessons noone can escape. There are no shurtcuts.
So if you want LOVE start with giving it.
Don´t close your bubble, let it in and let it flow even though you are scared.
Love Jessica
What is it the one thing that matters?
For me that is LOVE!!!!!
Love to my neigbour, to women and to men, and to my children and everyone around me.
Even though I´m scared I can´t give up loosing myself because I´m scared.
And I will ask for forgiveness for all the things I have done wrong in my life, and learn from theese lessons.
I´m everything not bad or good, happy or sad.
I do my best, I can´t do anything else.
I will never give up on LOVE.
Don´t try to scare me into obeying, what goes arund comes around just so you know.
You should also learn the lessons noone can escape. There are no shurtcuts.
So if you want LOVE start with giving it.
Don´t close your bubble, let it in and let it flow even though you are scared.
Love Jessica
The balance
Should this earth survive we need to think in other ways then we have done before, support each other but also see that we are different and let it be so.
Accept the differences.
I´m so very sad for things have become on this earth and I to have made mistakes even though I didn´t mean it.
Once I closed my heart because of fear that the other person wouldn´t love me and I still until this day love this person and hold him in my heart forver.
Even though I know it is never going to be us two, at first I was very very sad about it and feeling sorry for myself that he didn´t want me.
But I have realized that he needed the girl he met because she can give him the strenght that I could never give him.
There match each other, if you are too similuar we just compeeting who is the strongest and that will not end up in something good.
Then it´s better to realize that you are too similuar to match, you dont learn anything from each ohter.
Forgive youself and say sorry to the other person for not seeing this and move on to your true path.
We need the ying/yang balance to not tip over to one side.
It´s like the universe, everything is in perfect balance, so should also we be.
You need someone else who can learn you about the things you don´t know about.
Love Jessica
Accept the differences.
I´m so very sad for things have become on this earth and I to have made mistakes even though I didn´t mean it.
Once I closed my heart because of fear that the other person wouldn´t love me and I still until this day love this person and hold him in my heart forver.
Even though I know it is never going to be us two, at first I was very very sad about it and feeling sorry for myself that he didn´t want me.
But I have realized that he needed the girl he met because she can give him the strenght that I could never give him.
There match each other, if you are too similuar we just compeeting who is the strongest and that will not end up in something good.
Then it´s better to realize that you are too similuar to match, you dont learn anything from each ohter.
Forgive youself and say sorry to the other person for not seeing this and move on to your true path.
We need the ying/yang balance to not tip over to one side.
It´s like the universe, everything is in perfect balance, so should also we be.
You need someone else who can learn you about the things you don´t know about.
Love Jessica
Poem of today
This is a poem I think all of us has felt once in our lifetime.
And even though we have been hurted some time it´s important to know that we have aslo hurted another person even though it was not our intention or maybe we did it from fear.
But we should forgive each other for the mistake we did and then we grow more humble and understanding toward each other.
THE FEELING
Author: Katie Harrison
I dreamt a dream last night,
That you were holding me tight.
I looked upon your familiar face,
Longing for your sweet embrace.
In my dream youre here with me,
Keeping me safe from all that you see.
Safe is the feeling you always bring my way,
For that I loved you yesterday,
and I love you more today.
I dreamed we were in far off places,
Where no one knew our faces.
It felt like we were in our hiding spot,
And no matter what we did
we'd never get caught.
As a breeze blew through the room,
And I woke to find nothing but doom.
For I was all alone:
No feeling of Safety,
No feeling of Love,
No feeling of Home.
But most of all there was no you,
My room was empty and subdued.
As I tried to go back to sleep,
The only thing I could to was weep.
For I was all alone:
No feeling of Safety,
No feeling of Love,
No feeling of Home,
No feeling of you!
And even though we have been hurted some time it´s important to know that we have aslo hurted another person even though it was not our intention or maybe we did it from fear.
But we should forgive each other for the mistake we did and then we grow more humble and understanding toward each other.
THE FEELING
Author: Katie Harrison
I dreamt a dream last night,
That you were holding me tight.
I looked upon your familiar face,
Longing for your sweet embrace.
In my dream youre here with me,
Keeping me safe from all that you see.
Safe is the feeling you always bring my way,
For that I loved you yesterday,
and I love you more today.
I dreamed we were in far off places,
Where no one knew our faces.
It felt like we were in our hiding spot,
And no matter what we did
we'd never get caught.
As a breeze blew through the room,
And I woke to find nothing but doom.
For I was all alone:
No feeling of Safety,
No feeling of Love,
No feeling of Home.
But most of all there was no you,
My room was empty and subdued.
As I tried to go back to sleep,
The only thing I could to was weep.
For I was all alone:
No feeling of Safety,
No feeling of Love,
No feeling of Home,
No feeling of you!
Comment on Paulos post about Everyday Masters
The every day masters
Paulo Coelho
Here is one of the entries of my friend’s diary about the every day masters
Accepting yourself
I found out who I am by looking at others.
I am afraid of not being as good as they think I am, but I believe they all think this about themselves. During the time that I kept this diary, I finally accepted that I am brave enough to feel fear and to see myself without any artifices.
I feel secure enough to feel insecure.
I discovered that people try to project a lot of their own insecurity onto you, just as you do with them. They try to diminish you because they feel small, try to intimidate you because they are not convinced that they are capable.
Tomorrow, I’ll post here another entry.
My reflection about it:
I have to admit if I didn´t do that before.
Now I´m really really scared, so I do everything to make me stay calm.
Walk with the dog, taking a bath, listen to music.
Try to just center myself, I don´t want to be in the storm.
But I know I can´t be a coward so even though I´m afraid I have to walk my path with faith.
I don´t want to be a slave under others will.
I want to be free.
Free as the eagles !!!!
Love, light, courage to you all!!
Take step by step and walk on your own paths, if you stumble and fall stand up and continue :-)
Jessica
Paulo Coelho
Here is one of the entries of my friend’s diary about the every day masters
Accepting yourself
I found out who I am by looking at others.
I am afraid of not being as good as they think I am, but I believe they all think this about themselves. During the time that I kept this diary, I finally accepted that I am brave enough to feel fear and to see myself without any artifices.
I feel secure enough to feel insecure.
I discovered that people try to project a lot of their own insecurity onto you, just as you do with them. They try to diminish you because they feel small, try to intimidate you because they are not convinced that they are capable.
Tomorrow, I’ll post here another entry.
My reflection about it:
I have to admit if I didn´t do that before.
Now I´m really really scared, so I do everything to make me stay calm.
Walk with the dog, taking a bath, listen to music.
Try to just center myself, I don´t want to be in the storm.
But I know I can´t be a coward so even though I´m afraid I have to walk my path with faith.
I don´t want to be a slave under others will.
I want to be free.
Free as the eagles !!!!
Love, light, courage to you all!!
Take step by step and walk on your own paths, if you stumble and fall stand up and continue :-)
Jessica
About hummingbirds
I was fascinated with the hummingbirds so I looked up what it´s stands for:
http://www.whats-your-sign.com/hummingbird-animal-totem.html
The Hummingbird animal totem is a messenger of hope and jubilation.
Hummingbirds are signs of:
energy
vitality
joy
renewal
sincerity
healing
persistence
peace
infinity
agility
playfulness
loyalty
affection
It is not commonly known that the fluttering wings of the hummingbird move in the pattern of an infinity symbol - further solidifying their symbolism of eternity, continuity, and infinity.
By observing the Hummingbird, we see they are seemingly tireless.
Always actively seeking the sweetest nectar, they remind us to forever seek out the good in life and the beauty in each day.
Amazing migrators, some Hummingbirds are known to wing their way as far as 2000 miles to reach their destination.
This quality reminds us to be persistent in the persuit of our dreams, and adopt the tenacity of the Hummingbird in our lives.
The most profound questions the Hummingbird asks is:
"Where is your joy?"
"Is your happiness found within, or do you seek it externally?"
"What is the source of your joy?"
"What must you do to increase your joy?"
The Hummingbird animal totem most important message to you is:
"The sweetest nectar is within!"
http://www.whats-your-sign.com/hummingbird-animal-totem.html
The Hummingbird animal totem is a messenger of hope and jubilation.
Hummingbirds are signs of:
energy
vitality
joy
renewal
sincerity
healing
persistence
peace
infinity
agility
playfulness
loyalty
affection
It is not commonly known that the fluttering wings of the hummingbird move in the pattern of an infinity symbol - further solidifying their symbolism of eternity, continuity, and infinity.
By observing the Hummingbird, we see they are seemingly tireless.
Always actively seeking the sweetest nectar, they remind us to forever seek out the good in life and the beauty in each day.
Amazing migrators, some Hummingbirds are known to wing their way as far as 2000 miles to reach their destination.
This quality reminds us to be persistent in the persuit of our dreams, and adopt the tenacity of the Hummingbird in our lives.
The most profound questions the Hummingbird asks is:
"Where is your joy?"
"Is your happiness found within, or do you seek it externally?"
"What is the source of your joy?"
"What must you do to increase your joy?"
The Hummingbird animal totem most important message to you is:
"The sweetest nectar is within!"
Native Indian song
Native Indian Song
I think it´s about hummingbirds in some way, read more at this site
http://www.aaanativearts.com/article1391.html
Native Indian Wisdom
The time has come to listen to echoes from our land...the wisdom and teachings of our native American Indians. Their words are simple and their voices are soft. We have not heard them, because we have not taken the time to listen. Perhaps now is the time to open our ears and our hearts to the words of wisdom they have to say.
At some time there shall come among you a stranger, speaking a language you do not understand. He will try to buy the land from you, but do not sell it; keep it for an inheritance to your children."
Aseenewub - Red Lake Qjibwe (19th century)
"Why do not the Indians till the ground and live as we do?" May we not ask with equal propriety, "Why do not the white people hunt and live as we do?"
Old Tassel - Cherokee
At some time there shall come among you a stranger, speaking a language you do not understand. He will try to buy the land from you, but do not sell it; keep it for an inheritance to your children."
Aseenewub - Red Lake Qjibwe (19th century)
"Why do not the Indians till the ground and live as we do?" May we not ask with equal propriety, "Why do not the white people hunt and live as we do?"
Old Tassel - Cherokee
Reflection about Paulos Your Opinion on Vanity
I´m so tired of judging …
From one persons view a person can have vanity but for another persons view it could be pure love.
Who are we to judge what is vanity or not?
How is the right thing to be?
Isn´t that just up to each person to be whatever they wan´t to be?
And if we by mistake did something wrong, we can appologize for it and be humble.
That was not the intention to hurt that person, they just have another view of life.
About good or bad…Who decides what is good or bad?
Isn´t it just so that we humans also have differences as we have simularities, and that we should accept that?
Maybe that is what we should learn know when we learnt about good and bad, to mix this feelings into not judging just let things be as they are.
That every person have their right to believe in their own way?
We learn from our mistake and we grow.
Love once again :-)
Jessica
Reflection of Nikamrie comment on Paulos blog
Nikamrie,
"Are people moving away from religion and becoming more spiritual?"
I believe that is whats coming ... a new world with a whole new view of life.
But at first it will be chaos because people are afraid of changes and loosing power not realizing that they also will gain from change.
We are so used holding on to our things and patterns so we can not se what is around the corner.
I think we need to go on a adventure with faith and maybe a treasure is just around the corner. But maybe not what you expected.
God, Jahve, the Source(or whatever you want to call him/her, in my opinion he has no name, or all name because he/she is everything) work in mysterious ways ;-)
It is not easy, we have to take step by step and just take a leap of faith.
Love and courage
Jessica
"Are people moving away from religion and becoming more spiritual?"
I believe that is whats coming ... a new world with a whole new view of life.
But at first it will be chaos because people are afraid of changes and loosing power not realizing that they also will gain from change.
We are so used holding on to our things and patterns so we can not se what is around the corner.
I think we need to go on a adventure with faith and maybe a treasure is just around the corner. But maybe not what you expected.
God, Jahve, the Source(or whatever you want to call him/her, in my opinion he has no name, or all name because he/she is everything) work in mysterious ways ;-)
It is not easy, we have to take step by step and just take a leap of faith.
Love and courage
Jessica
We are everything
I´m so tired of the thinking in black or white, good or evil, happy or sad and so on.
We have to realize that we are all of our feelings and that we do the best we can.
Often we act from fear just from a pattern we learned in the past.
We have to learn a new pattern, but it takes practice and patience.
We are all beginnerrs in the start.
We are all worth the same the president or a cleaner, no one is above another person.
We all have our call in life, and they are all worth the same.
Could we manage if we had no farmers and only scientist for example?
Who would then provide food so we can eat?
So just listen to your heart and follow the whisper from inside what is the path for you.
We all have the "right" view of life, but we have to realize that one and one we only have ONE peace of the puzzle.
But if we put them together we can have the whole puzzle :-)
Love Jessica
We have to realize that we are all of our feelings and that we do the best we can.
Often we act from fear just from a pattern we learned in the past.
We have to learn a new pattern, but it takes practice and patience.
We are all beginnerrs in the start.
We are all worth the same the president or a cleaner, no one is above another person.
We all have our call in life, and they are all worth the same.
Could we manage if we had no farmers and only scientist for example?
Who would then provide food so we can eat?
So just listen to your heart and follow the whisper from inside what is the path for you.
We all have the "right" view of life, but we have to realize that one and one we only have ONE peace of the puzzle.
But if we put them together we can have the whole puzzle :-)
Love Jessica
Monday, March 9, 2009
Antoher Song of today
This song touched me when I saw a program on TV called Deliever us from Evil
Broken hallelujah
Songs of today
Sarah Dawn Finer - I moving on
I can´t say anymore ... it made me cry floods of tears!!!
Saturday, March 7, 2009
A lot of feelings
I think I´m going thrue a huge process right now.
It´s very hard to describe in words.
But I will give it a try.
A lot of feelings have been coming up lately.
One second I´m happy, the next sad, and then angry.
Maybe it´s all the emotions I have putted in my backpack over the years?
Now I´m trying to get rid of the backpack and deal with situations right on.
It takes courage a lot of courage when you not used to take the bull by the horn.
But there is no other way because I´m not going into the wall one more time.
But I will be kind to myself and have patience with the process.
I have felt an urge to be alone so I can sort out all my feelings.
But I have a sense when I have done this I will come out on the other side, from a pupa into a butterfly.
But it is also but timing not coming out to early ;-)
Love Jessica
It´s very hard to describe in words.
But I will give it a try.
A lot of feelings have been coming up lately.
One second I´m happy, the next sad, and then angry.
Maybe it´s all the emotions I have putted in my backpack over the years?
Now I´m trying to get rid of the backpack and deal with situations right on.
It takes courage a lot of courage when you not used to take the bull by the horn.
But there is no other way because I´m not going into the wall one more time.
But I will be kind to myself and have patience with the process.
I have felt an urge to be alone so I can sort out all my feelings.
But I have a sense when I have done this I will come out on the other side, from a pupa into a butterfly.
But it is also but timing not coming out to early ;-)
Love Jessica
Friday, March 6, 2009
Reflection of Paulo Coelhos: Guilt and forgiveness - Part II
Guilt and forgiveness - Part II
Published
by
Paulo Coelho
on March 6, 2009
Here is a beautiful story that illustrates precisely what I mean:
When he was small, Cosroes had a teacher who helped him to become an outstanding student in all his subjects. One afternoon, the teacher punished him severely, apparently for no reason.
Years later, Cosroes acceded to the throne. One of his first actions was to summon his former schoolmaster and demand an explanation for the injustice he had committed.
‘Why did you punish me when I had done nothing wrong?’ he asked.
‘When I saw how intelligent you were, I knew at once that you would inherit the throne from your father,’ replied his teacher. ‘And so I decided to show you how injustice can mark a man for life. Now that you know that,’ the teacher went on, ‘I hope you will never punish another person without good reason.’
This reminds me too of a conversation I had over supper once in Kyoto.
The Korean teacher Tae-Chang Kim was talking about the differences between Western thought and Eastern thought.
‘Both our civilisations have a golden rule. In the West, you say: ‘Do as you would be done by.’ This means that a loving person establishes a model of happiness which he tries to impose on all those he meets.
The golden rule in the East appears to be almost the same: ‘Never do to others what you would not want done to you.’ This is based on an understanding of all the things that make us unhappy, including having to obey a model of happiness imposed on us by others - and that makes all the difference.
In order to improve the world, we do not impose our own way of showing our love, we try instead to avoid making others suffer.’
So show respect and care when dealing with your fellow man. Jesus said: ‘You shall know them by their fruits.’ And old Arab proverb says: ‘God judges the tree by its fruits, not by its roots.’ And according to a popular proverb: ‘The beater forgets the beating, the beaten never do.’
My reflection:
It´s so beautiful Paulo :-)
It´s almost what I wrote on part 1 of forgivness *LOL*.
I´m so happy that there is people like you on this Earth :-)
I have a dream and a vision (and many more with me I suppose), that we can come togehter more and more people to share this wisdom and love.
And I think I´m getting there step by step with help from my friends.
But we need a lot of friends sharing in diffrent ways, so we should all start with doing what we can, with the resources we have.
Starting with ourselfs first and then flow over and share to other.
Paulo, you give many people strenght to stand up for themselfs, and one them is me ;-)
The circle of support, you support me and I support others in return.
The good waves are spreading !!!!
Love Jessica
Published
by
Paulo Coelho
on March 6, 2009
Here is a beautiful story that illustrates precisely what I mean:
When he was small, Cosroes had a teacher who helped him to become an outstanding student in all his subjects. One afternoon, the teacher punished him severely, apparently for no reason.
Years later, Cosroes acceded to the throne. One of his first actions was to summon his former schoolmaster and demand an explanation for the injustice he had committed.
‘Why did you punish me when I had done nothing wrong?’ he asked.
‘When I saw how intelligent you were, I knew at once that you would inherit the throne from your father,’ replied his teacher. ‘And so I decided to show you how injustice can mark a man for life. Now that you know that,’ the teacher went on, ‘I hope you will never punish another person without good reason.’
This reminds me too of a conversation I had over supper once in Kyoto.
The Korean teacher Tae-Chang Kim was talking about the differences between Western thought and Eastern thought.
‘Both our civilisations have a golden rule. In the West, you say: ‘Do as you would be done by.’ This means that a loving person establishes a model of happiness which he tries to impose on all those he meets.
The golden rule in the East appears to be almost the same: ‘Never do to others what you would not want done to you.’ This is based on an understanding of all the things that make us unhappy, including having to obey a model of happiness imposed on us by others - and that makes all the difference.
In order to improve the world, we do not impose our own way of showing our love, we try instead to avoid making others suffer.’
So show respect and care when dealing with your fellow man. Jesus said: ‘You shall know them by their fruits.’ And old Arab proverb says: ‘God judges the tree by its fruits, not by its roots.’ And according to a popular proverb: ‘The beater forgets the beating, the beaten never do.’
My reflection:
It´s so beautiful Paulo :-)
It´s almost what I wrote on part 1 of forgivness *LOL*.
I´m so happy that there is people like you on this Earth :-)
I have a dream and a vision (and many more with me I suppose), that we can come togehter more and more people to share this wisdom and love.
And I think I´m getting there step by step with help from my friends.
But we need a lot of friends sharing in diffrent ways, so we should all start with doing what we can, with the resources we have.
Starting with ourselfs first and then flow over and share to other.
Paulo, you give many people strenght to stand up for themselfs, and one them is me ;-)
The circle of support, you support me and I support others in return.
The good waves are spreading !!!!
Love Jessica
Some more thoughts about forgiveness
One more thought ….
I think we all want to be loved for who we are.
But if I speak for myself, I have been scared to show myself, because I believed that noone would love me for who I am, so I hided behind a wall :-(
But I´m through with hiding!!!
Now I have to stand up for myself and show the real me.
And thoose who loves me, loves me, simple as that.
And the most important thing is I also have to love myself and respect myself.
How can other people else know who I am, if I´m not sure who I am myself?
Everything starts within yourself.
And thats where I found my strenght in God, the Divine,the source, the light within or whatever you call it.
I go to the source and meditate !!!
I believe that we all come from the same source, so we should see ourself in other people.
If I hurt another person, I also hurt myself.
But we all do mistakes from unconscioussnes and then when we realize what we are doing and need to correct them, we can hurt other people because your didn´t follow YOUR path.
You suddenly realize that you where walking on someone elses path.
And we should forgive both ourself and the other person for this, saying to them that I made a mistake.
Love Jessica
I think we all want to be loved for who we are.
But if I speak for myself, I have been scared to show myself, because I believed that noone would love me for who I am, so I hided behind a wall :-(
But I´m through with hiding!!!
Now I have to stand up for myself and show the real me.
And thoose who loves me, loves me, simple as that.
And the most important thing is I also have to love myself and respect myself.
How can other people else know who I am, if I´m not sure who I am myself?
Everything starts within yourself.
And thats where I found my strenght in God, the Divine,the source, the light within or whatever you call it.
I go to the source and meditate !!!
I believe that we all come from the same source, so we should see ourself in other people.
If I hurt another person, I also hurt myself.
But we all do mistakes from unconscioussnes and then when we realize what we are doing and need to correct them, we can hurt other people because your didn´t follow YOUR path.
You suddenly realize that you where walking on someone elses path.
And we should forgive both ourself and the other person for this, saying to them that I made a mistake.
Love Jessica
Reflection of Paulo Coelhos: Guilt and forgiveness - Part 1
During his pilgrimage to Mecca, a holy man was suddenly aware of God’s presence beside him. He fell into a trance, knelt down, hid his face and prayed:
‘Lord, I ask only one thing in my life, that You give me the grace never to offend You.’
‘I cannot give you that grace,’ replied the Almighty.
Surprised, the man asked why.
‘If you never offend me, I will have no reason to forgive you,’ he heard the Lord say. ‘And if I have no need to forgive you, you will soon forget the importance of being merciful to others. Therefore, continue on your way with Love, and allow me to forgive you now and then, so that you do not forget this virtue either.’
The story clearly illustrates our own problems with guilt and forgiveness. When we were children, we would often overhear our mother saying: ‘My child only behaved foolishly because he got into bad company. He’s a very good boy really.’
And so we never took responsibility for our actions, never asked for forgiveness and ended up forgetting that we must also be generous with those who offend us. The act of forgiveness has nothing to do with feelings of guilt or cowardice: we all make mistakes and it is only by occasionally stumbling that we can improve and progress. On the other hand, if we are too tolerant of our own behaviour - especially when this hurts other people - we become isolated and incapable of correcting our path.
How can we drive out guilt, but at the same time be capable of asking forgiveness for any mistakes we make?
There are no easy formulas, but there is good sense: we should judge the results of our actions and not the intentions behind them. Deep down, everyone is good, but that is irrelevant and will not heal any wounds we might inflict.
My reflection:
I think I have a clue ;-)
“How can we drive out guilt, but at the same time be capable of asking forgiveness for any mistakes we make?”
By forgiving ourself for our own mistake as we forgive others for theirs, but start with yourself.
It´s not easy is a process have patience and be kind to yourself.
Stand up for your beliefs and follow your heart.
Don´t let other peoples projections hurt you instead see thrue them, see the bigger picture.
Love and light
Jessica
‘Lord, I ask only one thing in my life, that You give me the grace never to offend You.’
‘I cannot give you that grace,’ replied the Almighty.
Surprised, the man asked why.
‘If you never offend me, I will have no reason to forgive you,’ he heard the Lord say. ‘And if I have no need to forgive you, you will soon forget the importance of being merciful to others. Therefore, continue on your way with Love, and allow me to forgive you now and then, so that you do not forget this virtue either.’
The story clearly illustrates our own problems with guilt and forgiveness. When we were children, we would often overhear our mother saying: ‘My child only behaved foolishly because he got into bad company. He’s a very good boy really.’
And so we never took responsibility for our actions, never asked for forgiveness and ended up forgetting that we must also be generous with those who offend us. The act of forgiveness has nothing to do with feelings of guilt or cowardice: we all make mistakes and it is only by occasionally stumbling that we can improve and progress. On the other hand, if we are too tolerant of our own behaviour - especially when this hurts other people - we become isolated and incapable of correcting our path.
How can we drive out guilt, but at the same time be capable of asking forgiveness for any mistakes we make?
There are no easy formulas, but there is good sense: we should judge the results of our actions and not the intentions behind them. Deep down, everyone is good, but that is irrelevant and will not heal any wounds we might inflict.
My reflection:
I think I have a clue ;-)
“How can we drive out guilt, but at the same time be capable of asking forgiveness for any mistakes we make?”
By forgiving ourself for our own mistake as we forgive others for theirs, but start with yourself.
It´s not easy is a process have patience and be kind to yourself.
Stand up for your beliefs and follow your heart.
Don´t let other peoples projections hurt you instead see thrue them, see the bigger picture.
Love and light
Jessica
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Lightbolb moment :-)
Today I had an lightbolb moment :-D
One idea crossed my mind, what I wanted to achieve in this lifetime.
I want to help other humans that have gone thrue traumas and lost their self confidience and will to live, and their feeling of being a victim.I want to do what I can to help others, as I have recived help from many people when I have gone thrue traumas in my life.
I have often felt like a victim in my life, victim of rape, victim of being used, victim of being weak.I never talked to anyone about it because I was ashamed over it, thinking it was my fault theese things happened to me.
I have been helped in many ways and the most efficent for me has been healing, talking to a mentor, write diary and now I have been startig talking with friends about what I have been through.
And they are shocked, I who always has been so “strong” and “happy” in their eyes.
I have realized I have been very good hiding behind a wall, letting no one too close because of fear of being alone and abandon.
And when I have been hiding, I became alone in one sense, because I felt like no one understood me.
How could they if I always hided behind a “happy” face?
So maybe that´s why I the last two years have being going on a rollercoaster in my emotions, letting all the emotions out again.
And everyone around me think I´m changed and they are confused.
But they are right I have changed, and I will never going back to being a victim again.
I´m going to stand up for myself and my feelings, not let myself down again.
Now I´m showing people who I really am, with all my sides, happy,sad, strong, weak, brave and afraid.
I can also be sad and weak and I also need support some times.
It takes courage to show the real you, and don´t hide behind a wall of strenght and happiness ;-)
I´m just a human, as all the rest nothing more, nothing less ;-)
Love Jessica
Forgot one thing ….
It´s also a strenght to be able to ask for help.
I wished I had done it many years before, but better late then never.
No use crying over spilled milk, just take a new leap of faith and take one step infront of the other.
Now it´s my turn to help others, but I should also not forget to ask for help again if I need it.
(I have a healer and a mentor I go to even now and then, she can often help see things from a bigger picture when I get caught up in small details)
Give and recieve with joy :-)
One idea crossed my mind, what I wanted to achieve in this lifetime.
I want to help other humans that have gone thrue traumas and lost their self confidience and will to live, and their feeling of being a victim.I want to do what I can to help others, as I have recived help from many people when I have gone thrue traumas in my life.
I have often felt like a victim in my life, victim of rape, victim of being used, victim of being weak.I never talked to anyone about it because I was ashamed over it, thinking it was my fault theese things happened to me.
I have been helped in many ways and the most efficent for me has been healing, talking to a mentor, write diary and now I have been startig talking with friends about what I have been through.
And they are shocked, I who always has been so “strong” and “happy” in their eyes.
I have realized I have been very good hiding behind a wall, letting no one too close because of fear of being alone and abandon.
And when I have been hiding, I became alone in one sense, because I felt like no one understood me.
How could they if I always hided behind a “happy” face?
So maybe that´s why I the last two years have being going on a rollercoaster in my emotions, letting all the emotions out again.
And everyone around me think I´m changed and they are confused.
But they are right I have changed, and I will never going back to being a victim again.
I´m going to stand up for myself and my feelings, not let myself down again.
Now I´m showing people who I really am, with all my sides, happy,sad, strong, weak, brave and afraid.
I can also be sad and weak and I also need support some times.
It takes courage to show the real you, and don´t hide behind a wall of strenght and happiness ;-)
I´m just a human, as all the rest nothing more, nothing less ;-)
Love Jessica
Forgot one thing ….
It´s also a strenght to be able to ask for help.
I wished I had done it many years before, but better late then never.
No use crying over spilled milk, just take a new leap of faith and take one step infront of the other.
Now it´s my turn to help others, but I should also not forget to ask for help again if I need it.
(I have a healer and a mentor I go to even now and then, she can often help see things from a bigger picture when I get caught up in small details)
Give and recieve with joy :-)
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